Featured Artist November 2010: Autumnwind

To celebrate my new status as a host of Pink Panther I was asked to choose the next featured artist. Without a moment's thought I knew who I wanted to bestow this honour on and my co-hosts couldn't agree more with my choice.

I am so proud to present to you Autumnwind, one of the most profound and inspirational writers on Redbubble. Not only are her poems dear to me on a personal level, they are also thoughtful and very well writtten. Her writing touches on often scary topics and describes them in a personal, touching way that is exclusively Autumnwind's way of approaching them and sharing them with us.

Her poems made such an impression on me that I illustrated several of them, but more than that her poetry (and that of a few others here on Redbubble) encouraged me to pick up the pen again (after many years of denying myself) and to write my own poetry. For that I will forever be grateful to her.

Not that she understands all the fuss and when I told her that I chose her to be the next featured artist, she was over the moon and asked me if I was sure. :-) I have no doubt you'll all agree that her poems are fantastic and that she well deserves this honour.

Without further ado, here are a few of the poems I love best.

deep breath by ©autumnwind

do you know what its like
to live dead

to wake up each day
to not get out of bed

to stumble to the bathroom
pass the mirror from hell

and not recognize
where a human once dwelled

do you know how many women
are trapped

whose life force is
violently zapped

fear is a paralysis
immobilizing the heart

suffocating the soul
ripping
hope
apart

but wait…

put on that painted face
and the smile of a clown
the lie upside down
where
reality drowns

please your abuser
the cowardly loser

take a few pills
wash it down with a wish
for an hour of escape
or forever bliss
to the beautiful sea
or the clouds up above…

love?

fairy tales for some
scary tales become

lies to yourself
are the worst lies
of all

is it better to take chance
of the bite of a snake
or to know how he slithers
watching you quake

will you survive living dead
in shadow and dread?

NO

It is not just for you
to me there’s no choice

I am thinking of HER
your pure unborn voice

GET OUT NOW
please, I implore

you know the truth
this is warning not blame

real love does not hurt
nor does it bear any shame

 phoenix by ©autumnwind

for those of you
who feel
who know
they have learned
to bend with the wind
suddenly find
but once again
nothing is certain
and all things change

all knowledge
truly is
akin to the wind itself
…as there you lie
broken in two
disappointed
shocked
by the ferocious gusts
of
disillusionment
and hurt

I say
mend yourself
find new roots
grow stronger
though you feel
only half your former size
stand tall
and you will rise
day by day

let
tears and sun
nourish your spirit
rebuild your foundation

when their winds howl
and spit acid rain
burning holes
deep within the heart of you

remember
your scars
have made you stronger
and those breaking wounds
have made your soul
more limber

when you are fooled
yet once again
by the self indulgence of others
the sly mirage that tempts you
remember..

in truth we are alone
we must believe
in ourselves
and rise
to the glorious life
of our own giving spirit

ascend and consent
to the clouds
take shelter from the storms
shine and give forth
the warmth of a thousand suns

and most of all
when shadows fall
upon you
and breath is fierce and foul
remember what’s inside you
hold on tight
and ride
find you…
become the wind

doubt by ©autumnwind

a seed
desperate to grow
no space
and the pain is
restless
harrowing
angry

I can fly
like I swim
legs kicking
hands and arms together
dividing
the water/air

I take off
I am happy
realizing my abilities

back to reality
before sleep
I feel this seed
ever expanding
I am trapped

we all are

why are we nothing
without our dreams
when we cannot live them

I want to be free
yet
who is really free
while caught
in the in-between

it is a paradox

I reside
in bits and pieces
within moments
memory dots of happiness
dreams that are no longer in reach

were they ever

a key perhaps
constantly dangling
always just out of reach

slipping further away
have I even forgotten
the face of my mother?

I understand my choices
I devoutly cherish the gifts
I own

what then
is this more
that I need
so desperately

how many times
do I need
to lose my way
before I am truly found
(deja vu)

I hurt so deeply
an ache so profound

losing momentum now

these anchors
upon my shoulders
a weight
I can no longer bear

so…

I’ve been wondering
have I already
been the butterfly?

perhaps then

I

should

stop

trying

to

fly

breakdown by ©autumnwind

my dreams of late
are but whispers of dark madness
sparkling demons kiss my name in the howling wind

the resonating shriek razor thin
pierces deep the lines of cerebral logic

awake is only temporary coherence
fear dangles it’s ice picks above
poised to plummet and shatter
my fleeting grasp on reality

I am an optical scream perceived
distortion of violent overbearing colors
reverberate their haunting torment
weighing me down

a desperate prisoner…help me.

It's difficult to share just a few as I seem to feel each and every one. Please feel free to share your favourites in the comment section and congratulate Shar on her well deserved honour.

Huge congrats from all of us,

Sybille, Anna & VenusOak